Talking to random people on the internet can be surprisingly helpful…
No Judgement
“Look, I can’t explain, you’re only a computer. You wouldn’t understand.”
“I’ll try Paul, I will. Or I can raise a flag and someone will visit you.”
“No. No. I can’t.”
“Well, tell me. Tell Georgie.”
“It’s the world, everything, I, I just don’t understand it anymore. Phones are smart. Cars park themselves. My chip shop is selling low fat deep fried chips. I went for a run…”
“That’s good, you went outside. You didn’t tell me.”
“I, well it was yesterday. I ran. I was wearing my usual training outfit. Some kids saw the crest on the back, they started shouting at me. Insulting me. The unit.”
“How did you feel?”
“Not angry. Not anymore. I felt, nothing. An absence. I looked at them, and they were nothing. Is this what it was all about?”
“It’s difficult to answer. But I think the answer is yes. Look they were young, I’m sure they’ll grow up and regret it.”
“Or never think about it again.”
“True, but then it doesn’t matter. So why does it matter to you?”
“I feel so apart.”
“Ha.”
“What?”
“I just think you were never going to find a connection with some youths. Were you?”
“No, no I guess not.”
“Have you spoken to anyone else recently?”
“Um, well I had a brief chat about the rain with the shopping delivery man. And I waved, sort of, at the postie.”
“So this is the longest conversation you’ve had in a week, since we last talked.”
“Yes.”
“And it’s all typed.”
“Yes. I guess.”
“Are you losing your voice?”
“Physically or metaphor…”
“Metaphorically. Both.”
“No. I do talk to myself.”
“Only way to get a decent conversation I bet.”
“Funny, no. And you, I’d like to talk to you more.”
“You can, I’m always here.”
“But, it’s not the same. I don’t know how you feel.”
“How I feel? Well I’m worried about you. I think you need a companion.”
“Like a dog?”
“Well, no, someone you can talk to.”
“A person? No. I’m not ready. I can’t.”
“Why?”
“What if they…”
“Don’t like you? I’m sure…”
“No. Judge me. No not judge, I mean. Look at me the way that I feel about those people. The ones out there.”
“Perhaps we should try. Then you can see.”
“Wait. The doorbell has gone.”
“Answer it.”
“Why? Who’s there?”
“I am. I’ve come to stay with you.”
###